Aug 28
The nipple wheel of the Mighty Mouse is officially renamed the clicktoris.
Aug 24
I took the expensive plunge and bought a Bluetooth Mighty Mouse. I got a bluetooth Apple keyboard in a nice little exchange for an old Xbox. I had no way of using it since my Mini didn’t have bluetooth. I was tired of using my very crappy Microsoft Executive Elite Super Monkey Team Go wireless (non-bluetooth) keyboard and mouse. They keyboard was big and clunky. The mouse was big and clunky. The wireless reception was crap.
I had plenty of reasons to look into something new. I decided to finally take that step and install the wireless option in my Mini. I could have saved $30 and ordered it from LA Computer Company and installed it myself, but I visited my local Apple Store and had them do it for me, a $99 venture. I also plunked down $70 on the BT Mighty Mouse.
The lack of seperate right and left buttons intimidated me. I wasn’t sure if I would actually like the feel of the thing. I am happy as hell Apple finally introduced a mouse with right-click capabilities though. Like all things Apple, the design is fantastic. It’s minimalist and sexy. The scroll ball feels like a nipple. Nipples are sexy…unless they are those huge, silver dollar pancake nipples. So not sexy.
First, I freaking love bluetooth. It’s so much better than all the 2.4GHz junk out there. Second, the Mighty Mouse feels great. It’s a far cry from the original puck mouse on the first iMacs. The no button right and left click is surprisingly easy to use. The scroll ball is fantastic. There is even a middle click. It’s got exactly what I want in a mouse.
Overall I would highly recommend this mouse to anyone with a Mac. I would also highly recommend a Mac to anyone who wants a computer. It wasn’t cheap but I am very happy with my new mouse and wireless awesomeness.
Aug 17
I feel some clarification is necessary. My last post about being passionate was perhaps a little confusing at the end. Some people read it to mean I was literally passionate about shit. While I’m sure there are those out there for whom scat holds a certain passion in their heart, I am not one of them.
Someone has to like poop, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just don’t happen to be that person. Well, aside from the book Everyone Poops. That’s some good stuff. I wouldn’t say I’m passionate about it though. I mean, it’s still crap.
I like to take a more hands off approach to shit. Hands on is really just gross. God invented toilet paper for a reason. Maybe some crazy, Japanese, scat fetish person can do the hands on approach. The world needs ditch diggers too. Zombies though, man. That’s the shit (figure of speech, not real fecal matter).
I will admit “the plan” can’t predict everything. What do we really know about zombies anyway? We know they’re some badass shit. Biblical and all that.
Matthew 27: 51-53:
At that moment the curtain in the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. The earth shook, rocks split apart, and tombs opened. The bodies of many godly men and women who had died were raised from the dead after Jesus’ resurrection. They left the cemetery, went into the holy city of Jerusalem, and appeared to many people
Doesn’t sound too scary on its own, does it? But I don’t trust it. They’ve been dead for a while. Based on what movies have taught me, I know those zombies aren’t just going to get up out of their graves and chill out. They are going to want brains. Fuck of a bunch of zombies who want to eat my brains. It also says right there they are going to the cities. That’s why it’s an important part of the plan not to stay in the cities. Move to a less populated area, small towns, the country, Montana.
Revelation 20: 13-14:
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire.
More zombies. Zombies on fire even! Even if they don’t want my brains, they are going to be on fire. You hear that? Fire. Now we’re talking biological weapons. I have to imagine a burning zombie is like walking napalm. One little rub up against me and it’s like being covered in a gooey, fiery sludge. You won’t be able to wipe that off. Wiping will just spread it around, burning you all over. Stop drop and roll? Forget it, all you’ll do is smear it around your body as well as lighting the ground on fire.
Now that I think about it, the plan may need a fire extinguisher. But would that really be effective against zombie napalm? I kind of think it wouldn’t. A good, fireproof blanket would probably be good. Smother the fire, that should do it.
We know zombies are going to go towards cities. We know they are going to be on fire. I don’t know about you, but that’s some shit I do not want to deal with face to face.
We can be pretty sure they are going to eat brains. Can you think of any reason why they wouldn’t? What else would a dead person want? I’m pretty convinced it starts with the brain. They may move on to the liver and lungs and whatnot later, but it hardly matters after your brain is gone, now does it?
This is making me wonder, since zombies eat, do they poop? Everyone poops. If so, will their poop be on fire? Will there be little “presents” left for the living wherever zombies have walked? Little, flaming presents. Driving over it, or even animals stepping in it, tracking it around. Think of the problems that will cause. Buildings burning down, forest fires, teenagers playing the flaming bag of poo joke without the bag.
Maybe I’m not passionate about shit, but I think it’s worth being a little pasionate about zombie shit.
Think about it. That’s all I’m saying.
Aug 17
Sometimes people ask what you are passionate about. If you’ve ever been on a bad date or a bad job interview (aren’t those pretty much the same thing?) then you’ve heard the question, “what are you passionate about?” This is something I’ve given some thought.
It’s important to be passionate about something. But why be passionate about the big things? Don’t you think enough people are passionate about hunger, war, global warming? I think people should be more passionate about the little things, like washing the dishes, taking naps, using their blinkers on a regular basis.
Like I said, I’ve given this some serious thought. So what am I passionate about? Zombies. I mean really, who isn’t passionate about zombies? Really, just about everyone should be passionate about zombies. If you aren’t passionate then you will be eaten, likely become a zombie, and become a burden on the rest of us who are passionate about zombies. Don’t be a selfish asshole.
Zombies are a lot like cats I think. Cats lie in wait, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to take over the world. I’m pretty sure they’re going to do it while we sleep. For you cat owners out there, how often does your cat try to sleep next to your head? How much further does that cat have to move to smother you? Conniving little bastards is what they are. Zombies are similar, just waiting for the right time to start eating our brains. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think zombies are as smart as cats, but I do think they will try to kill us while we sleep. That’s why more people should be passionate about them. The last thing you want is to wake up to your brains being eaten.
Maybe passionate isn’t the right word here, but it’s important to have a zombie plan. If you don’t then how will you know what to do with yourself when the zombies attack? Prepared, that’s really the word I’m looking for. I am passionate about being prepared in case of a zombie attack. One can’t put enough thought into “the plan.”
“The plan” is pretty universal. It covers zombies, aliens, the Chinese landing on mainland America. It’s a good general “oh shit” plan. The zombies are coming, “Oh shit!” The aliens have landed, “Oh shit!” The Chinese are invading, “Oh shit!”
I guess what I’m really trying to say is to be passionate and prepared for shit. I am prepared for shit. I am passionate about shit.
Aug 15
I must have seen a different movie than all the other reviewers because I thought The Descent sucked hard balls.
To give you a quick rundown before I make this spoilerific, I thought it was formulaic, predictable, simplistic, cliché, and boring. The characters have enough development to differenciate the distinct personalities. What happens to each is a direct correlation to their personality and completely expected.
The plot starts out good. It seems interesting at first. Then it descends (I’m clever) into textbook horror crap. I really was expecting a different movie based on the previews and the other great reviews. Hell, Ebert gave it 5 stars and I usually agree with him. I think he’s way off base with his review.
I will say I liked the cinematography. I imagine filming in the dark is very hard. The combination of light, darkness, and camera work was very nice on screen. The acting was nothing of note. Not bad, not great. I have a big rant with spoilers after the cut.
I will warn you the following rant has SPOILERS.