Lately karma and I have been having a fight over a few things. Namely my job and my car. I was basically forced to quit my job. That same week I totaled my car. Not off to a good start.
But I haven’t gotten too down about it. I’m not one of those “rah rah!” type of people who looks at everything as the best thing ever. I’m more realistic than that. But this sequence of events has struck me as pretty positive all around.
I needed to get out of my last company. I think I have been able to narrow down what it is that bugged me so much about the place. I work extremely hard. I put forth 110%. I produce outstanding work. I innovate. I offer suggestions for all kinds of improvements. I sound like an ideal employee, right? Well, not there. I tend to rock the boat. If something sucks I’ll tell you. I don’t hold back.
I try to do that in a constructive way, but repeated mistakes just kill me. Why continuously beat your head against the wall? If it hurts then stop! This company couldn’t learn from their past mistakes and were therefore doomed to repeat them. The ultimate reason for this, and the source of my frustration, is they have a defeatist attitude. I don’t think this permeates all aspects of the company, but certainly the groups I worked most with.
In particular my management just gave up. They worded it as “choosing your battles” but that’s bullshit. When there are grammar errors in the user interface for more than 2 years that’s just giving up. Not requiring access to released software BEFORE customers have it in their hands is giving up.
What sealed the deal on that for me were the repeated statements of, “the grass isn’t greener at other companies.” After hearing that about half a dozen times I looked my manager right in the face and said, “yes, it is, I’ve worked for companies like that.” I was also told I was 100% correct with what I was frustrated with but that nothing was going to change so I needed to just accept that. Those two things combined proved to me they were defeatists and had given up. That’s not the kind of environment I want to be around.
I don’t believe in sub-par work. I believe in doing things right. I believe in quality. Go big or don’t go at all. If you are going to take the time to do something go all the way and do it right, otherwise there is no point.
As for the car, that turned out great. I totaled my WRX. It was low speed and no one was injured or even stiff and sore. That’s a good thing. I liked the WRX. Bought it in October because I was tired of my Mazda 3. It didn’t get great gas mileage and took premium. The payment wasn’t expensive but saved me nothing over my Mazda. Insurance was the same between the two vehicles.
Crashing the car sucked. I had no transportation, or so I thought. My friend loaned me his truck for a few days. Becky drove me around a couple days. Then I found a car. I got a 1999 Saab 9-3. It only had 45,000 miles! The thing looked immaculate inside and out and the price was right. I bought it and love it. I like it better than the WRX. Gas mileage is much better. Insurance, even after the accident, is significantly lower. My payment is much lower. Once I have a job I’ll have it paid off in under 2 years.
In a weird way this turned into a really good situation as well.
I think these things were just life’s way of telling me I needed to change. I’ve got a new car I like better and am saving money. I have an interview tomorrow for an interesting sounding job with a company that’s actually making money (what a concept). I have taken some of my time off to organize and clean my place. I’m only partially done but I feel better about my house already. Cleaned out my main bedroom and got rid of a lot of old clothes and junk. Some of it I donated, the crappy stuff I tossed. Rearranged a lot of furniture both in my bedroom and main room.
Next on the list will be the computer room and garage. I have to list a couple things on Craigslist. I don’t care if they sell as long as they go. Hopefully I will get my arcade cabinet done too. I have been thinking a lot about what I need to do. I don’t think it’s all that much really. Then I will actually move it inside my house. I know, big step! But it will be put in a diet with my plan and will fit much better.
I guess the good part of this experience is that I didn’t get caught up in all the shit that’s going on. There is plenty to think about and if I didn’t focus it would be overwhelming. But I’m just taking each piece one at a time. I didn’t even have to think about it, just did it naturally. Maybe I’m just really mellow.
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